After all our wonderful blessings, I feel guilty about fussing but here goes...Maybe if I say it out loud and get some suggestions from y'all, I can get my s--- together and straighten up.Most time not spent at my paying job is spent outside trying to get this farm back together after the tornado and years of neglect.
Yesterday, my clothes dryer died and the washer was in its last throes. Tired of repairing it, we loaded up and headed to Sears. I walked in and said I want the best bargain, least buttons and largest capacity you have. Ten minutes later, we were loading up. Hubby said that is the way I like to shop.
Next stop was farm supply, only for a strap to tie the W/D in since Den was not comfortable with the tie he had. We went in for one tie down thingy. It took forever. First we had to look at all of them, read all of them, then wander around to see if there were anymore. Got to check out and Den asked about chainsaw chains and found they made them in the store. So he heads to the back AGAIN. I sidestep into the horse area...now most of you, knowing me, would look for me there. I mean, think if there was one place in a farm supply store that I would most likely be, most of you would pick horse stuff, right? Not my hubby, after a long wait, I peeked out of the horse corner and saw him going up and down the isles looking. I stepped out and he mouthed, I've been looking for you...well, if you knew your wife of thirty-six years, you would know she is in the horse section. Not even to mention, the last three trips to farm supply, he ran me out of the horse section.
We headed home, unhooked the old, rehooked the new. The old ones are still here in the room.
That was not even what I was going to gripe about!
I need inspiration to get my inside life in order.
I have a beautiful red cedar picnic table that Daddy made. It is just outside the dining room for overflow and serves a dual purpose as a folding table for laundry. It is full of folded piles of clothes.
My kitchen, which has been the deer jerky factory for days, is butt deep in dishes and mess. There is enough dirt in the floor to grow a good sized garden. I have named my spiders. Hate to get rid of them, they keep the mice down.
My bathrooms are growing mushrooms.
My dining room table is the catch all and is piled to the ceiling.
My sheets were changed sometime after Halloween.
...And here's the scary part...I DO NOT CARE!
Help, I need inspiration, I need direction, I need a maid!
I used to be superwoman but at fifty-four that seems to be fading. With a full time job and spending all my daylight hours outside, I have no inclination to attack the inside.
Comments please, millions of them, I need help or my family may perish in a avalanche of filth.
18 comments:
Hi Gail :)
Don't worry, it will get better, it always does. More than once my house has ended up the same way, overloaded, neglected, etc. What I have to do when it gets that way is "one room a day" or "one corner a day" or "one hour a day". Small doses. Don't try to do it all at once or you'll get sick of it. One time I grabbed a box of trash bags and went through every room, removing things I didn't need, bagged them up to sell or give off. Bagged up all trash and extra papers to go to the dump. Just take it a little at a time, you'll get there :)
Love
Sharon
I agree with Sharon, a little at a time. Set small goals for each day and eventually it will get done. Don't think about everything that needs to get done because you'll get overwhelmed. Trust me, I'm dealing with this with unpacking and getting a new house in order. I just set small goals for each day and when they are met, I'm happy.
Gail, You just sound over whelmed..not that you don't care, when I get over whelmed with "life" I try and look around at those who don't even have what I have...I volunteer at a women's shelter and see how bad life can get.and then I go home and make a list of the 3 top things that are really buggen me and forget about the rest til those 3 are under control. If you have to hire someone to help you get #1 on the list, under control and feel better, do so. It's those things in life that we don't have control over that tend to make me worry way too much but those that I have some say over.. I "try" and reign in and make them so I can live with them. When I was working full time, and could afford it, I had someone come in every two weeks to help keep me sane with the cleaning. Keep to the list...that's the imp part..don't get distracted by everything else that is calling your name.Set up little goals daily or weekly. When you get #1 done to the point that it is acceptable, cross it off and go out on your great dreaming porch and give a loud hurrah!!
Picking the 3 is hard..but just sit back and figure which ones have you going in cirles the most. Things will get better... do a little at a time!! Don't forget to celebrate reaching your goals.
I hear ya....and I'm there on some level too! I just decided that I am going to tackle one project at a time and enjoy the pure delight that I feel from accomplishing something, even if I still have a million and one more tasks to go. In a few minutes, I am going to start working for just 30 minutes in my office...and then give myself "permission" to take a break. I can do anything for 30 minutes....and I know it will feel GREAT to get something done! After my quick break, it's back to work in my office for another 30 minutes! I will get this done today cuz I am determined. You can do this too...one task at a time. Good luck, Gail.
I gave been working hard this last year to regain my sanity. Sounds like we live in the same house. That is why I tried the cleaning game for a while. I have reprogrammed my brain to let go. But it took hit bottom to get there then Lexapro to make me want to go on. Hubbys just know what buttons to push.
You can do this ! Start tomorrow, a couple of things at a time- clean the kitchen floor, clear the surfaces. Slowly but surely it will be done. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.And don't forget to look after you... stop for a coffee and a sit down every now and then. Sit at that lovely red cedar table and don't beat yourself up.Let us all know how it goes. Sarah xx
Sarah: I am glad I can start tomorrow because today I've cleared brush and briars and downed trees until my back won't do any more. At least we are seeing some clear areas.
Grammy: Indeed they do know the buttons. I can't hit bottom 'cuz I don't have the time! Good suggestion, I will check with Dr. Beth.
Allison: Good ideal! I will try that and reward myself with chocolate in between.
Tina: I had not thought picking top three. That should help.
Christy: Small goals, one job at a time, I'll try that.
Sharon: I have already donated many things and will do so again. I think we let the stuff control our lives sometimes.
Everyone: Thank you for all your wonderful suggestions. Everyone sounds like you've been there.
PS: I really do not have mushrooms in the bathroom, but I have named my spiders!
So I agree that you are overwhelmed, and in over your head right now. Just know that NO woman can do it all...manage and repair a farm, work outside the home, clean the house, cook dinner, fold laundry, take care of the family, grow mushrooms on the bathroom floor, take care of little spiders...see??? You have a lot on your plate...lol!!
Are there any local high school kids that could help out around the farm? You could have someone who comes out as little as two Saturdays a month, and those can be your deep cleaning (house) days.
Hang in there, Gail! This will pass, but you can definitely ask for help. :)
Flylady.com -- it's common sense helped me years ago and helped me chip away at it little bits at a time. You'll do it, it will happen. Don't beat yourself up friend! :)
Canned Kitty, eh?
I've got a cute bony kitty sitting here enjoying that photo, too. (wink)
Congrats on the new washer and dryer! And I'd be right there with you in the horse section, too. Maybe we should carry a large white flag, that we can wave over the aisles? Our hubbies can look for us that way. lol!
Oh Gail,
I am so not into housework. As a child my family used to tease me that I went missing whenever housework was mentioned. And I did. I totally abhor it. I usually run away by heading up to the barn, perusing the computer blogs, reading a book, knitting, anything!
But every once in a while I get a wild hair and tackle a job or two. I sort of do the whirlwind thing....go fast and furious....and then I'm done.
I cannot clean all day long. I'd rip my hair out, my friend.
Ok, so I may not be much help, but this is what I'd do:
1)Purchase some collapsible mesh laundry bags. Keep laundry in them, instead of on the table. When you find a few minutes during your day or night, fold a few and put them away. No pressure. The laundry pile will never stop growing. It's fate. If you don't get to folding, tell everyone to just grab their own clothes and either wear them rigt out of the basket, or fold them and put 'em away themselves. Hmmmpf!
2)Dishes, like laundry will never stop. It's no possible, unless you just start using plastic utensils and paper plates (Now that's an idea!) My advice would be to get them done before you go to bed, because waking up to the mess is stressful. (I know. lol!)
3)When you get a wild hair, grab a broom. sweep the floor. Then mop. Or just ignore the floor until your feet start sticking to it. lol! (I've done that a few times)
4)Spiders, you say? Can't help you there. I squash 'em. No spiders live here, unless they are very sneaky. We have a cat to catch mice. She's not creepy at all. lol! And how BIG are your spiders anyway??!!
5)Mushrooms in the bathrooms? Ewww. Use bleach. Kill that fungus quick. Bleach is my friend, too. It takes away all that piss around the toilet from having 3 human males marking their territory and missing the mark.
6)The dining room table is a tough job. Serious and scary stuff. That's gonna take a few hours and a garbage bag (for trash) and a box (for the keepers).
7)Dirty sheets? Girl!! Get in that bedroom and change your sheets RIGHT NOW! You're gonna get bedbugs moving in...and who knows what else. lol!
Well there ya go. NOw get off the 'puter' and go grab a few wild hairs and get to work! hehehee :)
Lisa
~New Mexico
Actually, it's flylady.net ... sorry! :)
Oh whew' I am tried just reading about the work!
I am so with you..have let quite a few things go this summer into fall, now almost winter!
My husband has started to do more than vacuming lately...usually that'll get me to kick in some as I don't like it when the piles go missing..they end up in the dungeon(basement).
JUST ONE THING...lets try for that in a day..not burn ourselves out or sour ourselves to work like this...lets jsut achieve one good thing and relax! That is always my plan with my mare now..achieve one reallty good thing and jump off quick! She can turn on me if I push too hard.
One thing I plan on doing tomorrow before I leave the house- dishes and wipe the counters down. Let me know what you choose to do! I check back with ya!KK
I hear ya......been there myself! I found a cool site....www.flylady.net. It seems like a lot, but I'm tellen'ya it worked wonders for me. I don't think I would be back to working full time and handling everything so well if it wasn't for Flylady and her little system.....its all about babysteps!! Just breath and remember you can't do everything all at once. If I lived closer to ya, I'd come over and give ya a hand...thats the kinda gal I am...=D
Now about that farm supply store thing....how come men never want to take the time when we are shopping or looking for something, they rush us, etc...but come across a farm supply store, gun store or hardware store and they can spend hours there!! I would have been in the horse section too.....and we don't even have horses anymore......
Oh Gail, you do indeed make me laugh. I so appreciate your honesty because if nothing else it makes me feel somewhat normal in a world where everyone seems to expect perfection in every aspect of our lives. I say if you work outside the home and you work a lot outside at the farm - dagnabbit!! Hire a housecleaner!! They're not that expensive and it doesn't have to be on a permanent basis. Hire them on a per-job basis. Let them know up front that you'll pay x $ per hour and not to exceed 4 hours for example. When you come home from work, you'll look around at all the blessed cleanliness and breathe a sigh of relief. Go on now - you deserve it!!
p.s. the spiders are keeping the mouse population down!? Oh dear...
p.s. #2 Thank you so much for your kind and understanding comments to me on my blog during my last rant. *sigh* sometimes I feel like we're all lost, but hearing that I'm not alone sure does help...and makes me feel a whole lot better. :)
I had to laugh Gail! Sometimes I look around and it seems unsurmountable...catching up! (this only happens in the summer tho, when I too am outside 24/7)
I resign myself to ONE day, early, every 2 weeks..get up get going get her done! One fell swoop! I tell myself not many flowers will bloom in my absence or weeds will flourish...I am always amazed tho, once I get started it doesn't take all that long til I'm outside again enjoying my time even more! Sometimes, just the thinking about the inside work makes it grow more in our minds!
Good luck!
Thought I'd better come back to the place I was when I said I'd do the dishes and check beack with you....It took me 24 hours to get them done and the counters wiped...I took a gals horse back to it's home(she was trying him out) 90 miles the morning I said I'd do the dishes before I left the house...I only remebered when I got hom and did the them the next moring...It helped me to tell you that I would do them...just had to tell you that!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (I'm laughing WITH you not AT you:)
I just skipped out on cleaning the piles in the bedroom to play in the flowerbed because it was so warm and the wind died down.
I came back in to the computer, and am still going no where near the bedroom!!!!
When you figure it out-share your secrets!!
(hubby spent 30 minutes looking for me at a electronic store Friday, when he SHOULD have known I'd be on the magazine isle, sitting in the floor with a stack of mags to go through-silly men:)
Don't worry, it sounds like the most important things are getting done. Look deep into your husbands eyes, so deep you have no peripheral vision with which to view the mess.
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